I Am A Student Again When I Think All I May Want to Be is a Beach Bum

I just got home from the beach...

But...

Now I need to study.
 
Today was the start of my first formal graduate level class in twenty years. As an un-certified school media specialist, I need to get certified. So here I am, taking Advanced Children's and Young Adult Literature. 

Doubt.

I am a student again. I wonder, is it possible that I am too old for this? That can't be. I pride myself on being a lifelong learner, yet this feels so different. This feels a little scary.

Not only do I need to get certified as part of my new school journey, (It still hasn't quite sunk in that I work as an information specialist / librarian in a high school. Since summer arrived for me a week ago, my past school year seems almost like a dream.) I need to prove something to myself, or somebody, or many somebodies.

Do I?

The course is fully online. I've never done that before. How DO we do "discussions" there? I have to post to a forum if I have a question rather than getting in touch with the teacher? We're reading YA books and picture books. Picture books? I've enjoyed them with my kid, but am I out of my league here?

I am an expert. But not here. I feel like a freshman. (poor freshmen!)

But then I look at a gift my daughter recently gave me that sits upon my desk. As part of a special writing group with which she is involved, she was required to write about her Mommy and to create a portrait of me to go with it.

She wrote:

The humming of the projector is barely heard as my Mom's confident voice practices her book talk for me. The book picture shines brightly on the light colored wall. My mother is magnificent. Not only is she a high school librarian, but she works in archives. Whenever she needs to practice a presentation, I watch her. It makes her happy and me too! Although my Mom is busy, she still makes sure we get lots of mother/daughter time. I learn so much from my Mother and if you ever met her, you would too!

Confident.

Magnificent.

Happy.

I have big shoes to fill and they are my own. At least in a little girl's eyes. 

Students need to see their teachers as lifelong learners and my daughter needs to see me do this.

And I can.

I just can't guarantee that all my summer blog posts will be smashing. Something may have to give here.

I head back to my high school tomorrow to figure out how I'm going to remove shelving to make room for book and archives processing. I need to rearrange the reference collection and weed it to make room for a new textbook collection. I need to find great signs and take in the new books I ordered a little too late in May...

I need to work on my Voice Library project for ArchivesInfo.

I need to read "The One and Only Ivan" for my class. I can start there on this new trip. Ivan looks pretty cute. Is he the elephant or the gorilla on this book that sits near my elbow?

Maybe it's a good beach read...